Software Engineer Asks How to Date an Intern, Gets Roasted

  • A software engineer asked users on work discussion app Blind for advice on how to date an intern.
  • Dozens of users criticized the engineer for being a “cringe” creep who lacked self-respect.
  • The engineer told Insider he was surprised by the backlash, but still plans to ask the intern.

A software engineer asked an online forum for advice on how to date an intern — and users promptly roasted him.

The engineer, who said he works for Microsoft, said he’d taken an interest in an intern and had even requested a meeting with him to get to know her better. Blind requires users to provide a company-tied email address; Insider couldn’t independently verify his employment.

Blind users responded to his question — How can I ask her out? — with nearly 100 comments within a day. One succinct answer to his question: Don’t.

The user, who described himself as a “good looking and charismatic” software engineer in his 20s, said he had a meeting with a “cute intern” and told her he would “schedule a follow up meeting” to continue their conversation.

But his true intentions went beyond just a workplace meeting: “I don’t know much about the topic but I just wanted to talk with him more,” the user wrote, referring to what was discussed during the meeting.

“How can I ask her out?” the Blind user wrote. “I have never met her and I think she is WFH full time. Maybe ask to meet her for lunch on campus?”

In just one day, dozens of Blind users commented on the post to express their disapproval over the engineer’s ultimate motives.

“Stay off the interns,” another person identified as a Microsoft employee wrote. “Also the way you described yourself is cringe af.”

Other users told the engineer to “be better,” “stop being weird,” and “have some respect.”

On top of the backlash, some Blind users raised concerns that using a follow-up meeting as an excuse to ask an intern out could potentially count as a human resource violation.

“Your method of scheduling a fake-follow up is flat out harassment,” a worker with a Blind account tied to cloud-computing giant Oracle wrote. “Don’t ever use any work concept as an advancement on anyone *especially* someone in a lower position than you. It’s gross.”

When Insider contacted the original poster by direct message for comment, the software engineer said the sheer volume of responses made him reconsider asking the intern out. But after mulling it over, he said he decided he’d still pursue her in a way that, he said, would be “workplace-appropriate and amicable for both of us.”

He wouldn’t share his name with Insider, but said he does work for Microsoft. Microsoft didn’t immediately respond to Insider’s request for comment. Blind lets people post anonymously, so names aren’t tied to the posts.

“Love is such a powerful chemical,” the engineer told Insider. “I have a really strong feeling that she will accept my request to get to know each other outside of the workplace and I am praying that a romantic relationship will form between us before she completes her internship and returns to her home state to finish college.”

The negative reactions to the Blind post join an ongoing debate on whether its ethical to date your work colleagues. While some business leaders have said dating a coworker could lead to office drama, discomfort at work, and even job termination, others were able to find love in the office without compromising their careers.

In fact, workplace romances seemed to have risen in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. In a 2022 report on the topic, the Society for Human Resource Management found that 33% of the 550 US workers surveyed said they were currently or previously involved in a workplace romance with their peers or superiors — 6 percentage points higher than before the pandemic began.

As for dating an intern, people on Blind didn’t see that ending well, at least according to one user whose account is tied to North American Bankard, a payment processing firm.

“If you need a job, Microsoft will have an open position soon,” the person quipped.

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